Motherhood

What an absolutely lovely weekend we had. My family definitely went above and beyond in spoiling me all weekend long. From a special day out with my hubby, lovely surprises, terrific food (that I didn't even have to cook), lots of extra sleep, and plenty of time to do my favorite things with my favorite people. What more could a mama ask for?

I feel so incredibly blessed to get to call myself a mama to my two wonderful little girls.  I guess I always imagined I'd be a mama when I grew up, though I doubt I had any idea what that really meant.  And if I'm being completely honest I'm not sure I can say I know exactly what it means now.  Even as many years into it as I am now I find my views, ideas, and attitudes about parenting are still changing pretty regularly.  I suppose that is to be expected with all the new information and ideas out there and of course with each new phase our children take us into along with them. 

Motherhood is so much more than I ever imagined it would be, more of everything really--except maybe sleep, there certainly isn't more of that happening around here.  More love, laughter, tears, worrying, excitement, and certainly more learning.  I read a quote this weekend that said behind every great kid is a mother who is worried she's screwing it up.  I quite literally laughed out loud as I read it because it rang so true.  Going into this parenting gig with all the ideas of what it was going to be like but not really knowing is enough to make anyone a nervous wreck.  So we learn.  We learn by reading, by following our hearts, and most importantly by listening to our children.

 I realize now how much I truly didn't know when I began this journey nearly 6 years ago.  I didn't know how much our lives would really change, or how quickly our priorities would shift.  That who I was before I became mama would cease to exist and really that it wouldn't matter one bit at all.  That I would become a new version of myself, a better version even.  I had no idea that person could even exist but now as that person it feels more like 'me' than I ever have in the past.  I certainly didn't know that we'd become a homeschooling family let alone unschoolers, and the term Waldorf meant nothing to me back then.  But now it's so very much who we are.  It fits us in this life right now and so we are.

I can't imagine my life without being mama and I am looking forward to the next steps in this journey along with my girls.