Do you believe there is a reason for everything? I have always been a big believer in the idea that there is a reason for everything that happens, even the things that seem like a disaster. Sometimes that reason is obvious and readily available, but sometimes that reason takes a bit longer to figure out. Of course there are still events in my life I have yet to understand the reasoning behind. Aren't those always fun?
I'm currently sitting right in the middle of all of these wonderings. As most of you know dh and I have a new baby. Well, she's nearly four months old now but I still consider this the honeymoon of parenthood. I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with her for the first two months of her life. It was a blessing for all of us and a time I wouldn't trade for anything in the world, not even a for a full nights sleep! Unfortunately the time came when I had to return to the real world and not so merrily off to work I went. Luckily for us between my husband, mother-in-law and my own mother, we have not had to put our little pumpkin into a day care situation. Unfortunately our luck has ran out and we have been faced with making that dreaded decision.
Now, I am not trying to say anything negative about daycare nor am I trying to offend anyone who has their children in one. They are often a wonderful place and are most definitely a necessity for a lot of families. That being said the idea of a stranger taking care of my precious baby was enough to send me into a panic. Not to mention the fact that the cost of daycare in my area could be quite taxing. This is where my dilemma came to light. When I factored in the cost of daycare and the cost of fuel for driving the two hour round-trip distance to and from work everyday I found myself looking at a less than desireable salary. With these two expenses alone I would be making much less than minimum wage for my 40 hour week. That realization was staggering. How could I possibly justify only seeing my baby for 3 hours a day to make such a small amount of money? However, I also couldn't justify walking away from my income because we all know that every little bit helps.
This dilemma pulled at me for weeks on end until I came up with what I thought was a reasonable solution. The majority of my work is on the computer, in fact I am afraid to even count the amount of time I spend sitting in front of mine in a week. There was no reason, or so I thought, that I couldn't do my job from the comfort of my own home. What a brilliant idea right? Monday of this week I went in and sat down with the company CFO and proposed my very well thought out plan and gave my explanation for it. She understood where I was coming from and thought my idea had definite possibility. The real test was whether or not the directors would see things our way. Unfortunately they did not and I have effectively talked myself out of a very nice job. Can anyone say panic attack?
Truthfully I was afraid that this might be the outcome. I knew going into the meeting that one of two things would happen. I would either come out of it a happy working from home employee or an unhappy unemployed person. Needless to say I was leaning towards the first option. Definitely a case where things don't work out quite as well as you had planned.
This brings me back to my original question. Is there a reason for everything? I know you are probably thinking of course there is, but what I really mean is there a good reason for everything. Is there a reason that when it comes to light you say "Okay now I understand and I'm glad that things didn't go the way I had hoped before"? I often find that to be the case when you look back on things that have happened in life. However, there are still those situations that I have yet to figure out. I am hoping this is not going to turn out to be another one of those. I am hoping that it didn't happen just because I stuck my big foot in my mouth. I am hoping that there is a good reason for this. Maybe this is just the push I need to make myself pursue some of the business ideas I have been toying with in my head for more years than I can count. Could that be the case? Only time will truly tell...